Do you ever feel low and due to lack of guidance feel sick and stuck? I know most of us do. And if you don’t, then sir, I tag you awesome ... you need not read further.
But the ones, who do feel that way, shouldn’t worry. It’s human. We all have our bad moments/phases in life. We commit mistakes, we fall, we get up again and life keeps rolling like that. Isn’t it? I’m discussing this with you today because my that phase is on. Yes, that phase when you cry ugly rivers of tears cursing your life, yourself and everyone around you asking - can life be anymore worse?
I know it’s a common thought. Most of us tell/ask ourselves all these things. But, do we all get our answers? I don’t. I never did. In 19 years of my age, I dunno how many such low-down-sulking moments I have faced but conclusion? I’m nowhere near that word. Why though? May be because I’m not looking for it? May be because there isn’t any?
Guys, we all are like those bunnies in wheels. Running full circle. Getting confused, taking wrong decisions, regretting, falling, trying to correct and repeating. And trust me, stopping this ritual, is kinda hard. Not that I’m trying to tell you that your life is always going to suck like that, but there is nothing wrong in it. It’s a part of growing up. It depends on you how you deal with it. Degree of depression depends on your mindset. Losing a pet, say a dog, can depress me to the core, but to someone like Atul, probably won’t even affect! And that is exactly why you shouldn’t run around searching for generalized answers or advices. Because there is no one on earth who knows you better than you do.
So what is it that you should do to get over this phase if not seeking others advice or help?
Do you! (No pun intended)
If you haven’t already understood what I meant by that then let me tell you a little more specifically. In such phases/moments of dilemma, in spite of looking around the world for answers, search yourself. And if you don’t know what to look for, within (which most of us don’t) go figure, idiot!
Anything that gives you peace of mind is your answer! In my case, the answer I found out wasn’t even related to my problem, but it still helped. Provided me respite from thinking crap about me and the world.
Want to know what I did? I was trying to cry, last night, because I was really frustrated. But tears won’t come! I was shocked, cuz I am a person who cries too often and very easily. And then I noticed something, which was obvious but I cared to look deeper.
Change.
I am changing. Venting your frustration out through crying was MY method earlier. Now it’s not. Since when? There are changes taking place in me and I’m not even aware of it? Disgraceful!
So what do I resolve to now, in order to take my frustration out? How do I take it out ... what did I do the last time I was this frustrated? And in the process of finding answer to that, what I did was an intense scan through myself.
I sat and started thinking of the last such memory. I didn’t want to get stuck in reverse, so one after one I went back to all the major incidents of my life. With this, memories that I didn’t intend to recall too flashed in my mind. Which made me curious and I suddenly forgot my problems and started looking for my first/oldest memory. It took me time, but I finally managed to discover my oldest memory.
It’s with my Dad and my first cousin; I was one and a half year old, then.In order to reach here, to my first/oldest memory, I unfolded SO many chapters of my life. Some of those were full of awesomeness, some of those were sad, some of those were total waste of time, but all of them carried an encrypted message within them. And so now I know that, the moment I decipher each and every message these chapters of my memory carry, that moment I’d learn how to break this full circle of agony I keep running into.
After doing this, my problems didn’t solve, neither did I feel content, but I have a remedy now. I have a treatment to fill in this cavity. That first memory. It makes me smile, fills me with joy, calms me down, refuels my thoughts and energizes my body. In simpler words, makes me feel alright on my own.
So Amitians, the next time you are sulking, don’t open www.google.com and read your horoscope/tarrots or get drunk and call up your friends or do any such horrible thing (I know almost everyone of us has done things like this or things even more stupid, haha) Just find out that one thing (relevant or irrelevant) that will help you making your peace.
Btw, ever wondered which is your oldest memory? Try it ... it’s fun! xD
